Rewiring Trauma (From a Friend, not a Therapist)

Hello my loves,

Happy Sunday. Today’s topic is something we’ve all felt at one point or another.

[DISCLAIMER: This is not medical advice. If you’re experiencing anything troubling, please seek support from a medical professional.]

Trauma isn’t something anyone else can measure for you. Five people can experience the same situation and walk away feeling entirely different. You can’t change the moment but what you can do is choose life.

Today, I’m sharing how I began to rewire my relationship with trauma. This is definitely not a “fix.” Think of it more as a mindset shift: a better attitude and an opportunity to refocus.

For me (and yes, it may sound cliché), acceptance is the first step. And no, acceptance does not mean forgiveness or confrontation. It has everything to do with you. Acknowledge how the experience made you feel. Don’t minimize it. Don’t brush it off. For some, this looks like therapy or speaking with a professional. For others, it’s simply saying the truth out loud…finally.

At some point, if you’re allowing the problem to keep affecting you without doing anything about it, you’re still making a choice. Your life is essentially a collection of the choices you’ve made, and not choosing is also a choice. Constantly blaming a situation or a person for why you’re not moving forward doesn’t rewrite the past; it just keeps you stuck there. So eventually, you have to decide to keep moving.

So how do you refocus your energy?

For me, a little distraction helps. When I catch myself overthinking or feeling disproportionately upset, it’s usually because I’m overwhelmed somewhere else and haven’t noticed yet. Then a relatively small situation becomes the thing. I overthink it, avoid everything, and suddenly I’m doom-scrolling like it’s a full-time job.

Sometimes you really have to pause and ask yourself:

Why is this taking up so much of my energy?

What if I chose something else instead?

What is one thing I can do right now to shift my focus?

Lastly, as we step into becoming her, the question is always the same: Who do you want to be?

When people describe you in five or ten years, what do they say? What does your life look like? Are you moving through life on autopilot; or are you actually living it?

Nothing is worth risking your dream life. Choose future you. Becoming her isn’t easy but it is possible.

Use this week to choose life.

With love,

XO, JK